My fear of heights precluded me ever becoming the Milk Tray man.  As Christmas approaches, thoughts turn to what we can possibly buy which will heighten our bad cholesterol count as we contemplate the annual purchase of a box of dates.

1968 saw the first Milk Tray man ad on TV and ran, with several actors, into the mid-2000s.  I was 11 in 1968 and watched as the man leapt from building to building, through numerous avalanches, combating three-headed dogs along the way to delivering his milk chocolate selection box.

If I’d been better at PE at school, I would have quite fancied that – black is my favourite clothes colour; in my mind, I was halfway there. The SAS-type training being the other half, was an aspect which needed work! I couldn’t vault over a horse during PE, so there was no way I’d be seen on UK TV screens across the land with my important package (my own personal important package being my main concern whilst attempting to leap over a wooden horse in my Tooting school gym).

“And all because the lady loves Milk Tray” – really?  Even “Perfect Praline” which isn’t perfect as so few people know what praline is?  I’m surprised this hasn’t been discontinued as it is the only one which remains in the box after the decorations are put away, the cards taken down and box of dates stored back in the loft.

Milk Tray has been around since 1916; coincidentally the sell-by date on my box of dates.