Carrying on with my holiday theme, and before we all go back to our chimney sweeping jobs in September, I’ve been reminded of the singularly unhealthy foods we’d have all eaten on holiday.
I think, looking back, that the stall holders must have been in league with (in my experience) all south London dentists.
I’m talking initially about ‘rock’.
Only a struggling dentist could have thought this confection up. A mint-flavoured sweet and 99% guaranteed to break a tooth or at least loosen a filling. The type I would buy, if you cut it two, would have ‘root canal treatment’ running through the middle.
Also, candy floss – more addictive than crack cocaine, but slightly more sticky and certainly enough ingredients to make you even more susceptible to gingivitis. The best bit for me was watching being made – a bit like seeing how a spider spins its web using a time-lapse camera. Actually, I lied, the best bit was eating it and still having most of it round your face several hours later.
But the one thing we eat in the open, only during our holidays, is fish and chips. But if you’d have known the seagulls were going to have such an absence of fear, you’d have bought two portions!
So, tooth decay, diabetes and high cholesterol – highlights from summer holidays gone by – and that’s before you’ve bought the mandatory postcards.
Are we nearly at the pub which sells Double Diamond yet?