When you saw your careers officer at school, you were never encouraged to become a squirrel.
I wanted to be a squirrel as, on TV, growing up in the ‘60s, they had the best jobs; were massively popular and hugely responsible.
I’d have liked to have been Tufty. He had many friends: one was called Willy Weasel (which wouldn’t be allowed on TV these days, and actually sounds like some kind of STD). Tufty’s full name was Tufty Fluffytail. I think, if ever I consider a role as a drag queen, this would be my stage name.
Slightly more adventurous, and without the nagging mum, was Secret Squirrel. He had a coat which housed many weapons to fight crime. Although, because I have bad eyesight, I’d probably would have been better as his sidekick, Morocco Mole.
I can only assume, as I was told that a career in advertising is what I should seriously consider, that the lack of O-levels I achieved in 1973, meant that being a squirrel was never on the cards.
It was, however, while revising for my O-Levels in my Balham flat (Squirrel was an O-level option you could take back then), I discovered squirrels only lived for about five years. Advertising it is, then! Atom Ant would have to find another crime-fighting partner.