One thing I miss, whenever I’m eating boiled eggs, is the Noddy eggcup I had, together with its accompanying blue hat with a bell on to keep the eggs warm.

A kitchen table is probably much changed from mine in my ‘60s Balham flat.

Gone is the Formica (which looked suspiciously like an old piece of lino) used as a table-cloth and I bet kitchen tables these days don’t tend to have mangles built in underneath (because you’re always thinking about wringing out a damp vest when you’re tucking into your muesli).

Do people still have novelty cruet sets?  My Nan’s was so old, she had representations of William & Mary on her salt and pepper pots.  Those were the days when the sell-by date simply said: ‘the end of Pitt the Elder’s government’.

The thing which confused me as a kid was when mustard was prepared.  It was put into so small a dish and served with so small a spoon I thought The Borrowers were doing the catering.

If you’re a football enthusiast, it was important to have a fully stocked kitchen table.  Especially if you were to re-enact a spectacular goal you’d seen (or indeed scored for your Cub pack on Tooting Bec Common) you needed as much condiment action going on on your kitchen table as was possible.  You cannot explain the offside rule without the use of a jar of marmalade, a pile of salt and a couple of kippers.

Pass the toast, please, Jeeves.