Three O-level trick

Playing cards have had a continual presence in my life; no more so than when I was growing up in ‘60s London.

As a young child I’d play Snap and Beat your neighbour out of doors.  The latter made me think we had violent neighbours who came round for cups of sugar and needed to be discouraged.

At secondary school Whist was a popular game – especially when it was wet playtime and you’d forgotten your Owzthat kit.

I went to two secondary schools; at the second (marginally posher) they played Bridge:  this is like Whist – only for toffs and numerate toffs at that!  Sadly, for me, the more I played, the less revision I did.  This was reflected in my exam results.   If there’d been a question during any of my O-levels asking “what are trumps?” I’d probably still be at university or running for office in the US.

During the ‘70s, there was a gaming club on Balham High Road.  My friend’s dad ran it. I would visit on Sunday afternoons; we walked through the very quiet snooker hall and upstairs to the gaming rooms – still smelling of Saturday evening’s cigarettes; beer and the Kray brothers.  

Having failed Maths O-level three-times, I’d never knew if my cards were anywhere close to adding up to twenty-one, so, I stuck to Snap during my twenties, rather than playing Pontoon.

Wonder if they ever found the lady?

Halfpenny for your thoughts?

Boxing Day in the ‘60s for me meant an early introduction to gambling and the chance to win my bodyweight in halfpennies.

We would travel from Balham to Wimbledon Chase (which sounded more like a horserace than an actual place) to visit a family who’d previously lived in my block of flats, but had emigrated to SW20 – could have been Borneo, it seemed that far away.

At the end of the four-mile journey south down the A24 would be the largest ever collection of bottled beer, two packs of cards and a pile of halfpennies, which to me looked like Everest (the mountain, not the double glazing).

The game we played was Newmarket; it was simple and easy for a ten-year-old (me) to play.  The games would seemingly go on long into the night (probably about 9.30!) and amidst the continual clinking of light ale bottles, you stood to have a pile in front of you, if you were lucky, adding up to nearly a shilling.  I’d never felt so rich – plus I had already been given a £1 Premium Bond at birth – surely only members of the Royal Family were better off?

The lady who lived there looked very much like Dusty Springfield (this was preferable than looking like Myra Hindley, as my Auntie Vera did), so it was no coincidence her songs were played throughout the evening. 

When the beer had run out, and the halfpennies usually in one person’s sole possession, we began the trip home – back to wonder how easy it was to mend a broken Action Man. 

Who’s got the ten of spades?