1973 – Micky's Up blog

Shouting down

Published on August 6, 2023 by mickyrichards1957Leave a comment

This week I was travelling to London, changing trains at Clapham Junction.

This is the Mecca for trainspotters: Clapham Junction is the busiest station in the UK. It’s not actually in Clapham, which means, if you are a trainspotter, you will need to be good at orienteering too.

In the early ‘70s this station was one end of my daily commute.

I would walk to the station from my school every evening with several friends. One friend lived in Wimbledon. His platform was 100-yards away from mine; mine headed heading towards the Gateway to the South. When you’re fifteen, you couldn’t give a monkey’s about other people around you; my friend and I would continue our conversation across several platforms – like human loud-hailers.

Back then, there were no electronic indicator boards – for any form of transport. These days, you know exactly when the next bus or train will arrive. In the ‘70s, you could be at a bus-stop and sometimes feel you were on the set of Waiting for Godot.

Back on the platform, I’d look hopefully at the station staff as they dipped into their four-foot high box which housed the train destination boards. Until the one mentioning “Carshalton” was withdrawn and inserted into its rightful place, I continued shouting across many platforms, asking: “how do you draw an ox-bow lake?” and “just how many bloody Pitts were there?”.

Gute Reise, as my friend’s Austrian mum would have said.

Ballet High

Published on May 4, 2022May 8, 2022 by mickyrichards1957Leave a comment

It was November 1973 when I decided never to wear women’s clothing again.

At the tender age of sixteen, I was asked to appear in a sketch my Balham amateur dramatics society were producing. I’d been overlooked for many large parts, so this was my chance for glory.

The sketch was entitled: ‘We’re the only girls left in the ballet’. It was a three-handed sketch. The other two were six inches taller than me, a generation older and had beards. I didn’t start shaving until I was around 35, so could not compete in the facial growth stakes.

Aside from performing in the church hall, we would travel with our revues; these were invariably held in local mental homes (that’s showbiz!). The downside to this was that the audience rarely laughed at what we thought were the right places. We could have performed King Lear and they’d have probably complained that was too funny.

Meanwhile, with my first venture (that I’m admitting here) looming, I had to be helped into a tutu. If Margot Fonteyn had ever visited SW17, she’d have had kittens.

The dress cut into my crotch (almost acting as a vasectomy); I’ve still never taken to blocks of wood in the ends of my shoes and a mixture of muslin, gauze and nylon brings me out in a rash.

So, if ever you go to the ballet to watch Romeo and Juliet, if my stage career had taken off, I could have played the latter – although I’m not good with heights, so they’d have had to have cut the balcony scene.

No-levels

Published on December 9, 2021December 12, 2021 by mickyrichards1957Leave a comment

I failed most of my O-levels because I listened to far too much music, although I did think it would help with my revision.

Listening to the O’Jays’ “Love Train”, as they mentioned England; Russia; China; Africa; Egypt and Israel (too), would have been helpful had I not been meant to be revising the physical landscape of Canada.

Learning the very descriptive lyrics to Boney M’s “Rasputin” would have been constructive had I not had a series of questions about Gladstone and Disraeli during my History exam.

I knew little about trigonometry and knew even less after constantly listening to Barry Manilow’s “Bermuda Triangle”.

A favourite song to listen to was Jane Birkin’s “Je t’aime” – again a waste of time as the question with the highest marks was: “Write to your pen friend in Antibes about your summer job” – had I have worked as a high-class prostitute, I’d have got full marks. It did help a bit with biology, though.

I feel I could have done even better with science should My Chemical Romance have been around.

The set work for music was “Ceremony of Carols” – this, I discovered, when the results were out, was by Benjamin Britten and not, as I’d written, Neil Sedaka.

However, I do know what a slide rule is for: it is for neatly underlining your name, date and subject of your exam. Also, as this was the summer of ‘73 (almost another good song), you could use it to swot away flies – although this was Clapham and not Rwanda.

You can turn your papers over now.